And then it all becomes very, very real. . . . .

I had just spent a fantastic weekend in my second home, New Zealand, and was getting off the plane - tired, but very very glad to be home. For some reason, being away from our home and our bed, made me miss Tim even more than usual.

And then the phone rings and I hear the voice of my gorgeous fiance telling me that the base has been attacked and it might make the news so he just wanted to let me know he was ok before I saw anything on the news and got scared for his welfare. . .

Coming home and getting onto Sky News and CNN - the first thing I see is a picture of a blood stain on a pavement outside a restaurant on the base. A restaurant Tim has spoken about going to, and somewhere he has stood and taken a photo to send to me.

And thats when I realise - beyond any shadow of a doubt - not only is the love of my life on the other side of the world, he is in a warzone. And his life, and the life we have planned together, is in danger.