Why I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow....

Just at the end of my first weekend gone by with Tim being away....... not looking forward to the 9 months of these next year when he is away! Our weekends are always spent together - pretty much from 5pm Friday afternoon until 7am Monday morning when we both have to go off to work. And again - that's just how I like it! We don't always have 101 things planned to do on weekends - but I always always climb into bed with him Sunday night and we laugh about the fun we've had doing something, or maybe just doing nothing and hanging out at home, swimming at the beach etc. It doesn't seem to matter how much or how little we do together, we always have a fantastic time.

I have been pretty good with my random bouts of crying - it's only when my Mum asked how I was doing that I had a wee little cry - just a little one!! I did call Tim's phone on Saturday afternoon though......and I know he doesnt have his phone, and I knew I wouldnt be able to speak to him - I just thought it would be nice to hear his voice (very briefly, he has the shortest answerphone message ever!) and I thought it might be nice for him to have a message from me when he does get back to civilisation! All going well - until I heard his voice, and then I lost it! My message went something like "Hi Baby (sniff sniff) I just wanted to leave you a message to say (sob) that I love you and I (sniff sniff) miss you but I dont want you to (s-s-s-s-s-s-sob sob) worry about me cos I am doing just fine (sniff sob)". Convincing right? I think not! And then I felt really horrible and wanted to go back and erase it because I know how much it will hurt him to think that I am upset and missing him like that. But unfortunately, I cant erase it - so will just hope he is able to call me before he listens to that!! All best intentions!

Just two more sleeps now until I am off to Hawaii with my girlfriends for 7 days. A very coincidentally timed trip, as we had no idea Tim would be away when we booked it so as much as it wont stop me missing him, Ala Moana might manage to distract me momentarily!!

Am hoping there is a slight chance he might be home from training early, so will be here when I get back so am going to leave him some surprises around the house just so he knows how much I was thinking of him and so he knows how much I wish I could be here with him the second he gets home.

But not counting on that too much.....21st December is worse case scenario, so we will just work towards that - anything earlier is a massive bonus. Anything later - and I will be phoning his CO myself to have words!!! Gives us 3 days to do all of our Christmas shopping and prepare for our first Christmas together.......brunch with his brother, sister-in-law, little man Cullen and Tim's parents. And then dinner with my whole family - all 40 odd of us! All of whom think Tim is just the best thing since sliced bread so I know we are going to have a fantastic day together!

I am working on his present list........ of course he told me he doesnt want anything other than to spend the day with me, but I have got a few ideas that I think he will be pretty happy with!

1. A new iPod for him to take away loaded with all his favourite songs!

2. A new digital camera

3. An external hard drive to go with his new Mac so he can take all of his favourite movies etc overseas with him

4. Some good headphones that he can use to watch movies, and most importantly, to skype me!

5. Tickets to go to Roar and Snoar at Taronga Zoo for before he deploys.......

Cool hey?! Fingers crossed he loves it all!

For now - will say Adios to Sunday......... 5 nights down, 20 to go x

My boy left today for a month of training with the unit he will deploy with next year - they're going 'bush' so that means no contact at all with him for about two weeks....... nothing. The longest Tim and I have gone not speaking since we met 8 months ago is 3 days - and he was away with his family and had no service on his phone....... The last 3 months I have seen him every day, he has either been at home when I got here - or been on his way to me. We speak on the phone probably 5 or 6 times most days, we text back and forwards all day. I fall asleep with him, and i wake up next to him. And I wouldnt have it any other way.

And now he is gone - and I am not quite sure what to do with myself.

And it leaves me thinking about all of the other men, women and families all around the world who do this all the time. Tim's dad phoned me just before to check that I was ok and he promised me that it gets a little bit easier every time he leaves.....not that I will miss him any less, just that as much as you can - you get used to him leaving. Phil (Tim's dad) told me that they have said goodbye to Tim countless times over the last 10 years he has been in the Army.......... I dont know how people do this year in and year out. Especially with families and little tiny children. It makes my heart ache for all of those families and girlfriends who have their loved ones on deployments now, and have had in the past - actually, I guess it just makes me sad for anyone who has to be away from their family and friends for any reason.

Ho Hum.................

On the 'glass half full' side, I am off to Hawaii with my wonderful girlfriends in 6 sleeps, and once back - only 11 sleeps until Tim is home for our first Christmas together! After being apart for this time, I am not going to want to leave his side! Luckily I am pretty sure he will be the same.

We went out for a beautiful meal the night before he left and he bought me a dress that I have been walking past and looking at for a month but would never have gotten for myself. He spoils me rotten and I tell him so - all I get back is assurance from him that I deserve it :)

This is a bit of a disjointed post - hahahaha - am still getting my head around this blogging thing but have been reading lots of others in bits and pieces and am really enjoying it actually! Will try to make it all make more sense next time!

What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. ~Richard Wilbur

There are 11588km between Sydney and Tarin Kowt

Places not to miss in Portugal and Spain (yes, another list!)

The Palace, Sintra (Portugal)

Care Package Ideas x

• Bed Linen
• 4WD Magazines
• New Pillow
• My Perfume :)
• Food
• Pictures
• Toiletries
• Reading Books
• Hacky Sack
• Footy/Footy team gear
• Board Games
• Razors
• Pens/Stationary
• Stuff for sore muscles
• Books
• Frisbee
• Jenga
• Wheat Bag
• New jandals
• Calendar
• Chapstick

I like to write lists.........

List
–noun
1.
a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence so as to constitute a record: a list of members.

And me, I am an avid list writer. I have been known to write a list of all the lists I need to prepare. I write lists at work, at home, for holidays - there is a list for every occasion and there really is a huge feeling of accomplishment when you are able to cross something off a list (which I generally like to do in a pink highlighter......)

I have a couple of lists I need to keep somewhere safe while Tim is away - because, obviously, they are very important things. Such as a list of all of the things I can send him in care packages while he is over there - I have all these brilliant ideas, but if I dont write them down somewhere, I wont remember them, and this would be a tragedy :)

And then we are off to Europe for two weeks in the middle of his trip somewhere - so, of course, I need to list somewhere everything I read and hear and am told about the trip.

Justified enough? Lists to follow..................

A week on......

I had a shitty week last week - my dad had a very unexpected heartattack (he is on the mend now thank goodness) and then I got the news that I knew was coming eventually, just didnt expect it right then and there.......my boyfriend is being sent overseas with work for 8 months early next year. Not the end of the world, no - but a pretty swift kick in the teeth! Thinking about 8 months (or closer to 9.5 by the time we allow for training and leave etc) without him SUCKS so I am coming up with lots of creative ways to keep myself amused and to channel my frustration and sadness at being away from him. And this is one of the places it has lead me!

I know it's not going to change the world, it's not going to end the war, it's not even going to mean an endless supply of Peeptoe's (http://www.peeptoeshoes.com.au/ - check it out, uh-mazing shoes!!) - and I may very well be the ONLY person to ever read it - but I am ok with that.

He is the one person I tell all the irrelevant little details about my day to, He is the one person I ask stupid questions because I know he won't laugh at me for being a goose. . . . . . . . I might just save up all the irrelevant details here, and ask all of the stupid questions here so he can maybe read this one day and answer them all when he is home safe!

We have 3, maybe 4 months together before he leaves though - so there will be lots of laughs and lots of fun times for me to share before I turn into an angry bitter woman :)

See, look - I feel better already!